Christians are straight up FREAKS
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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