there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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