When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
