I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
