He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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