can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize