Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
are you so shy because you have an std?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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