I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
