i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
