so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
