direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
