Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
