I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
