he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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