I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
