Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
50% drunk capacity currently
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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