He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Boobs speak an international language.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
