sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
