it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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