margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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