I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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