I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize