So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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