i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
