from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Two words: blizzard sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
