and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
