i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
