Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just google imaged poop.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
