theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize