Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize