All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
