she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hippo gnu deer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
