Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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