You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
