I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize