is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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