She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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