when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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