I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.