i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's allergic to latex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people