First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize