You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
