He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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