If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
