so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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