i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize