I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
