i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize