I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize