i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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