Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

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(518): View more from New York

As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(318): View more from Louisiana

I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.

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(415): View more from California

I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default

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