so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.