I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
