and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I need a burrito and a hug.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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