Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He did a backflip because drugs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
