wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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