that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
