Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
