I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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