life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
