Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
