so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
