yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
